The INFP Quest: Find and Appreciate Your Unique Strengths and Abilities

My life is like a video game. 

I had to complete a lot of side quests before I was able to fully understand what it means to be an INFP.

I have explored many different places and tried out many different types of jobs along the way. I used to feel that I had to change myself for employers to like me and to value me. 

Now I understand myself and my strengths much better.  

I no longer try to act like an SP Artisan or an SJ Guardian just to fit into a job that doesn’t see or value my unique strengths.

My journey through the video game of David Keirsey's characters

“What are your strengths and weaknesses?” is a question employers will often ask you at a job interview. 

It’s a bit of a trick question because each temperament type sees strengths and weaknesses in their own way. 

If you answer correctly, you will be judged as “one of us” and hired. However, if you answer the wrong way, you will be found “lacking” and have to find another place to work.

Different types of jobs value different types of strengths.  

I am good at figuring out what strengths people are looking for and showing them what they are wanting to see at a job interview. But, over the years, I have learned that it’s not worth it to me in the long run to mask myself at a job.  I end up feeling bad about myself whenever I try to work at a place that doesn’t align with my authentic self and my unique strengths.

I have also learned that it matters who you work with as well.  It’s important to have a boss who appreciates my unique strengths instead of making me feel that I’m not good enough in some way. 

If my boss doesn’t fully understand me, then I try to find coworkers who are willing to be my allies. It’s always easier to face the final boss at the end of a video game when you have friends and allies by your side.  This means that it’s easier to enjoy your job and find fulfilment in your career when you interact with at least some people who appreciate you and your efforts.

SP Artisans (ESTP, ESFP, ISTP, ISFP)

SP Artisans value excitement, action, and trust their impulses.  They look for employees who are concrete thinkers and can make quick tactical decisions. 

I’m not like that.

When I started working in public relations, I pictured myself promoting worthwhile causes in the non-profit sector or ethical companies that made products that help people.

The reality turned out to be different than I imagined.  I value being honest and authentic. I wanted to develop a positive relationship with editors and reporters in order for them to write and talk about my clients.  I learned that it’s more of a sales job.  It turned out that I’m not a good salesperson and that I don’t enjoy promoting.  I like sharing knowledge and enlightening others; that’s different from selling and promoting.

ENTPs and ESTPs

My bosses were ENTP Promoters who are charismatic and outgoing.  They know just how to enhance and embellish stories to make them sound exciting.  Being authentic and truthful is not as important to them so they don’t mind giving stories a certain “spin”.

ESTPs relish the challenge of convincing someone to do something or write about something that they want them to do or write about.  I don’t like to “spin” the truth and I prefer being honest and direct to being a smooth talker.

SJ Guardians (ESTJ, ESFJ, ISTJ, ISFJ)

I decided to try teaching when I realized I didn’t enjoy public relations. This time, teaching was a good fit but my ESTJ boss didn’t value my strengths and wanted to change me. 

SJ Guardians (ESTJ, ESFJ, ISTJ, and ISFJ) are interested in socializing students.  They care about teaching students the rules and making sure they follow them.  They value being concerned, reliable, and respectable.

I wanted my students to follow the rules as well, but I cared much more about their individual growth and development.  I liked encouraging them and motivating them through positive reinforcement rather than insisting that they blindly follow the rules. 

My ESTJ boss kept pointing to my ESTJ coworker and criticizing my efforts.  She would say,

“Why can’t you just do it the way she is doing it? “
“Why can’t you just do it the way it has always been done?”
“Why do you have to do it your way?”

The criticism really made me feel bad about myself at the time.  Her favorite phrase to tell the children was “you get what you get, and you don’t get upset”.  I never liked that phrase.  I preferred to use active listening and to reassure a child if the child was upset.

Later in life, I was working as a toddler teacher at a different daycare.  We were about to get accredited by NAEYC, an organization that helps to promote quality learning for children ages birth to 8 years. The things that my ESTJ boss had criticized about me in the past ended up being my best assets.  NAEYC values individualized learning. I was praised for developing an engaging weekly curriculum.

The assessor loved how I displayed photos of the learning and progress on the bulletin boards. She loved how I adapted the learning projects to fit the needs of each individual child. She loved that I regularly changed the learning environment based on the skill levels that the children were interested in practicing. She liked that I was using active listening to validate their feelings. She liked how I was helping them to self-regulate emotions.  She liked that my students could nicely ask for what they needed and wanted.  

My boss at the time was surprised that my classroom was used as an example of excellent work but I wasn’t surprised.  I knew that what I was doing on a daily basis was helping my students grow and thrive.  I’m so glad I found a way to excel at my job by being myself, without trying to turn myself into an SJ Guardian.

My INFP Special Skill: seeing what’s unique in others

My best strength is seeing what is special and unique about each person that I meet. I am great at helping people to become more self-aware. I love encouraging them and empowering them to be their best, authentic selves. 

The final boss I had to face at the end of my video game was myself. I had to learn to like myself just the way I am. 

I had to learn that it’s ok to be different from SP Artisans and SJ Guardians because my differences are also my greatest strengths.