What Are You Good At?

“A student of everything is a master of nothing”, ‘they’ say.

I often wonder, though, if a student is what I am called to be. Maybe I don’t want to be a master of anything. How could I spend my life focused on one single thing?

I often feel like there could never be enough time for all the lives I want to live, the moments I want to experience. I’m not sure I want to be a master of anything outside of myself - finding out who I am, what I am capable of, where the light in me is from, how to best honor and reveal that light.

As it stands today, that path (for me) looks like slower days, not jam-packed with mastering anything. It’s allowing myself the space to feel what I am called to that day. It means giving myself space to breathe and process and feel. It means learning when I feel motivated. It means conceptualizing rather than implementing.

Sometimes this question, “What are you good at?” haunts me a little because I don’t have a tangible, concrete skill that I can easily and proudly whip out for display. How I covet the way ‘talented’ people get to say “Surfing...Acting...Singing...Art…” Even ‘adult’ real-world skills like Sales & Spreadsheets, I’ve never had that ability. Instead I get to say obtuse things like “I’m a visionary” or “I understand the big picture very well” which sometimes, in my darkest hour, feels a lot, or a bit, like “nothing.” But, that is what we’re good at...right? 

I’m a deep thinker. I can work independently and I can solve problems. I sometimes see patterns that others miss. I’m naturally curious and enjoy learning and reading. I’m self-motivated. I love hearing about oddities of life and the universe and people living outside of the ‘norms’ of society. 

So, what am I a master of? What am I good at?

I can’t say that it’s much besides myself.

And I am learning to have that be more than enough for me.