The Flat Guy

Most of them call it “flat.” For some it is “passive,” “poker face,” or anything that screams “not expressive.”

It always makes me wonder what the trigger is. Maybe the silence, the awkwardness, or simply whatever that seems not normal for them. Whatever that is, clearly it’s enough for me to realize that something was off.

I was twenty-something when I did my first Myers-Briggs, second-guessing through the
whole test. It said, when the most you feel energized, is it around people or in solitude?

My naïve brain led me to choose the more-the-merrier path, which resulted in Extrovert as the first characteristic. Later, when I was more mature, it was never about right or wrong, I did the test again with more honesty and “ta-daaa”, my Introverted soul shone through and I got my INFP degree.

So what is “normal” in our society?

In general, people are easier to connect between each other when they have or feel common in something. It can be background, hobbies, job similarity, even gender can be the main reason for people to get along.

In a social set-up, it is very challenging when the agenda is to sit across from one another and talk. Sometimes, we have to eat in between. Other times, random talk is not enough in a more official setup, but talk smartly, with some objectives. I am very amazed how people do it naturally, seemingly without thinking, saying A with the objectives of C, D, H, or even a Z.

I think INFP’s special skill is to have reflections, deep reflections, rather than to judge or say names to other people characteristics. Believe it or not, most people don’t even think about this. You see me flat, well that’s because you have not seen me expressive yet, especially with you.

Well, if I see another person who might be a “flat” person, then I prefer to try to get along with them, maybe ask them something to start a light interaction, rather than just call them names. Maybe that is also what I seek, who knows what we’re gonna do or say when the situation comes. 

Myer’s-Briggs is not absolute, but one of many tools

People are different, and there is no person that is an exact match, it will be a clone. Every person experienced different things in their life, and we cannot forget the past blatantly.

Try to remember and use the past for the future. Respect the past, all that happens to us leads us to this day. So, this Myers-Briggs is only one of the tools, to help us identify personality, but it is not absolute.

I just feel most people have a standard, and live through that standard.

While being INFP, we have purpose more than that. It is a rather personal purpose, so no people can argue or have problem. Just cherish it all as our special skills and it can be our best strength.